
Have you ever been around someone who was nice enough to talk to but it seemed through subtle persuasion that they wanted you to know how rough a time they were having? They didn’t come right out and say it but there were definitely signals of “woe is me”.
I personally have been the offender in this scenario before! Remember, only when we’re honest about our faults can we move forward. I would be having a conversation with someone and in the course of the interaction I would begin to give hints of my current trial! Now, I wasn’t blatant about it, but when the conversation was over, the other person was probably like “Man, he sure is a trooper! He has so much on his plate and yet he goes on!” However, when I moved on from the conversation, I felt dirty! Like I unloaded something I shouldn’t have or tried to get someone to feel sorry for me out of sympathy.
It’s been a while since I’ve operated like this. When I realize the only person’s attention I need in a difficult situation is the Lord’s anyway. After all, He’s the only one who can change the situation and get me to a place of victory. When I would lean on someone else and or make them my dumping ground we both leave unsatisfied and wanting. The truth is that being manipulative to get sympathy is treacherous. We either want the other person to feel sorry for us or do something about it. Once you’ve been around this type of person for any length of time you will end up wanting to steer clear.
What I learned is that I had to become strong for myself in the Lord and begin to focus that energy on things that mattered instead of on my own desires to be sympathized with. In the gospels we never find Jesus saying “Come on guys, don’t you know the weight I’m bearing, I mean I have to save the world, and it sure would be nice to have some help!” No, He never felt sorry for Himself, He learned to encourage Himself in the Lord and gain the victory. Now, don’t get me wrong, we’ve all fallen short in some way or the other, but this is an area that seems to have become more popular in Christian society and it’s time for Christians to get a backbone and strengthen themselves in the Lord and not lean so much on others.
I didn’t say don’t lean on others all together, but other people can’t be your source. Proverbs 3 says “lean not on your own understand, but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path”. I see a lot of God in there but not much about making other people your dumping ground so they can fix your problems. We ourselves need to become the answer for people and teach others how to rely on God and not on us.
So, to the title of the article, either be the martyr and die for what you believe in or stop acting like the martyr and that the weight of the world is on your shoulders alone. Start being an encourager in your conversations, building people up. And if you need advice then get from someone who will shoot you straight and not baby you and then for heaven’s sake, do what they say to do if you know it’s the truth. Life is too short to live as a victim and there are too many people who need the victory in you. When we as the church get this concept and walk in it we will arise as the force that God intended us to be in the world around us.
Hope this helps,
Barry